Being a people pleaser means you often put others’ needs far above your own. While this may seem admirable, when overdone to the extent that you neglect your own needs, it can impact your overall mental health. How can being a people pleaser impact my mental health? Let’s find out!

Several causes for becoming a people pleaser exist. However, the most common is an experience in an early relationship where love and attention were unavailable, inconsistent, or conditional. Such conditions often lead to a fear of failure or rejection, which can create people-pleasing tendencies. 

Negative Impacts of Being a People Pleaser 

Being a people pleaser can lead to: 

• Insecurity 
• Unhealthy relationships 
• Low self-esteem 
• The constant need for validation 
• Inability to set personal boundaries 
• Increasing anxiety 
• Failing to make yourself a priority and practicing self-care 

People pleasing can also affect your mental wellness. You can build up resentment due to a feeling that others are taking advantage of your generosity, and this can cause a passive-aggressive nature to develop. 

As a result, you may feel constant stress and be unable to enjoy yourself or relax. It can also result in the development of depression. 

How to Overcome People Pleasing Anxiety 

One of the main ways people-pleasing affects your mental health is with the increasing levels of anxiety. This anxiety is the result of apprehension, a fear of failure, and the development of chronic tension, which is not easily alleviated. 

Try the following to overcome your people-pleasing anxiety or at least manage it. 

• Practice Breathing Exercises: Practice breathing exercises to calm yourself when feeling anxious. By focusing on your breath, worries and fears take a back seat, and you’ll become more relaxed. 
• Write in a Journal: Writing things down helps you process feelings and thoughts and relieves you of their strain. Try tossing a journal in your bag for access throughout the day. 
• Get Outside: Immersing yourself in nature is therapeutic for your mental and physical health. It can help calm yourself, reduce stress, and lower blood pressure. 
• Establish Personal Boundaries: Instead of filling up your time with more work or relationships, start establishing personal boundaries. These can be simple at first, limiting your afterhours availability for work. 
• Seek Therapy: Therapy can provide you with the support and tools you need to overcome or manage your anxiety. 

The essential thing to know is that you don’t have to remain a people pleaser. By first acknowledging or recognizing people-pleasing behaviors, you can take steps to benefit your mental health and your life overall.